How to Find Opportunity in Every Single Moment
22 year old me working on a cruise ship and living in the now :)
“There is opportunity to found in every single moment. But, we close ourselves off to that opportunity when we dread the future.”
How am I so calm all the time?
How am I so happy all the time?
How am I so focused all the time?
How do I not get overwhelmed, or stressed, or angry?
These are questions I get asked frequently.
At my old workplace, people would often say things like, “I wish I were as calm as you.” Or, “I wish could be as focused as you are.”
They believed it was just a part of who I was and they could never be that because it wasn’t “who they were”.
But, I need to let you in on a little secret…
That’s a load of shit.
I wasn’t born this way. In fact, wasn’t this way until about six years ago. It’s a skill I have developed – actually, a skill I’ve worked very hard to develop. I’m not saying that to scare you, I’m saying that because it means you can develop it too, if you truly want to.
It all begins with the present moment – the now.
As Eckhart Tolle says, “There is no past or future except as memory or anticipation in your mind.” So if the now is all I actually have, then why not give it my full attention? Why not be completely present in the present moment? Why not make the only moment I have the best moment it can be?
I know that sounds fluffly, right? Like…what does that really mean to not live in the past or future and how do you actually live in the now? While there have been countless books written on this, and there are countless ways to actually do it, this blog will outline my personal journey toward living in the now. I will share the tactics I have found most beneficial in the hopes that I can help you too become more calm, happy, stress-free, focused, and more present in your life!
What was my starting point toward a now-focused life?
I stopped allowing myself to dread things in the future.
When I started on my “living in the now” journey, I was working as a professional figure skater on a cruise ship. And while that career path may sound glamorous (oh, it was!), there were aspects of it that were not. In fact, some of the things I was required to do inspired outright dread in me.
One duty in particular that I hated more than anything was called “boat drill”. This would happen on the very first day of the cruise where we would practice with the newly boarded guests what to do in case of an emergency. So the emergency alarms would go off and the 2,000 different guests would all frantically and chaotically try to find their emergency station all at one time. It was a mess to say the least. If you’ve ever been on a cruise, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
I was responsible for lining up 150 of these frantic guests into perfectly straight lines of eight and keep them quiet and in line for the remainder of the drill. It was always a hundred degrees outside, you always had guests yelling at you, and you always wanted to just jump off the side of the ship in the middle of the drill.
But one day, I decided to show up in a different way than usual. I decided to actively not dread every minute leading up to the drill, not show up with a bad attitude, and not count down the minutes until it was over. Instead, I decided to live every moment in the present leading up to and during the drill.
What I’ve learned is if I am “dreading” something, that means I’m not living in the present because I’m focusing on a negative aspect of my future (and actively labeling it as a “negative aspect”).
And that’s not fair to my present moment because I can’t predict how things will go. Sure, I can remind myself of something I need to do, but I don’t need to think about how awful it will be.
If you think about it, why do we even do that in the first place? Why do we set ourselves up for a bad time when we actually have no idea what the outcome will be?
It’s our perception and mental labeling that makes something bad. So when we shift our perception of what we are doing, we shift the experience we have while doing it. For example, if we remove the thought, “This is going to be terrible”, we will no longer experience the “terribleness” in the actual experience.
So instead, I started to just go about my day living each moment presently and when it was time for boat drill…well, it was time for boat drill. That’s all. There was no “Ugh, this is going to be miserable.” Instead, my thought process consisted of, “Okay, it’s time to go do boat drill.”
Not only before, but during the drill I began to live presently as well. After all, it was my present moment, there was no escaping it. And focusing on time wasn’t going to speed up time. So, I gave my present moment my full attention. I smiled, I tried hard, I acted like I wanted to be there. If I didn’t have a say in the matter, I might as well make the best of it, right?
And guess what? I started to actually enjoy doing boat drill. The guests hated doing the drill just as much as the employees and I began to realize my smile and attentiveness to them lightened their experience. They no longer yelled at me and instead, we started to enjoy conversations with each other. And the more I chatted and laughed with them, the quicker the drills went. Before I knew it, it was over!
So, long story short…stop dreading things – whether it’s going to an appoitnment, doing the dishes, being stuck in traffic, having to go to a “stupid” work party. Whatever it is, release the dread. Don’t think about what your experience will be while doing it until you’re actually experiencing it. And, since you have to do it anyway, why not do it to the best of your ability?
If you show up to a party knowing you’re going to have a terrible time, you most likely won’t make any effort to actually have fun and enjoy the experience. You’ll make decisions that align with your belief that it will be a bad time.
If you dread being stuck in traffic, it will feel like you are stuck in traffic for eternity and it will be a terrible experience. But if you allow yourself to accept the present moment for what it is (because whether you like it or not, you are stuck in traffic and you can’t change that), you could look at the time stuck as “you time”. Awesome, now you get to call a friend you haven’t had time to catch up with in forever, or you now have time to listen to a full episode of your favorite podcast, or you finally have time to sit quietly with your thoughts and flush them out.
There is opportunity to be found in every single moment. But, we close ourselves off to that opportunity when we dread the future. When we actually get to that moment, we have already constructed a perception that blocks us from seeing the opportunity in front of us. And the same can be said for wishing your present moment to be over.
Simply by allowing each moment to be what it is will change the experience we have in that moment.
And I’ll be honest with you, this approach has drastically changed the way I experience my entire life…for the better.
So, here’s my challenge to you…
Become aware of when you are dreading something, or wishing something to be over.
Acknowledge the negative labeling you are placing on that something in your future (and in your present moment), and throw it way.
Pull yourself back into the present moment and live it to the best of your ability.
Remember each moment is what it is. You can't always change what is happening, but you can always change the way you react and the experience you have with what’s happening.
And never forget to smile.
I’m so excited for you to apply this to your life! I would love to hear about your experience with this mental shift in your life. Send me a message on Instagram, @iamchelseanow so we can chat!
xx,
Chelsea